Back
I just rolled back into Texas after a hellacious week. Even though it's 95 degrees, I'm very happy to be home. Thank you to everyone who has offered so much support and love over the last week. I really appreciate it. To those who called, I did not have my cell phone, but I really appreciated the messages. I love you all.
We had a pretty crazy and perfect make-shift funeral. He was not a church person, so we thought it would be hypocritical to try to do a church ceremony. Instead, my dad did a eulogy and we all told funny stories about him. It was really nice, and he would have approved. It's hard for me to believe that I'm not going to talk to him again though.
A bright spot in the week was getting to see Eric's sister and my niece and nephew who are possibly the cutest children on Earth. We went to a butterfly garden in Ames, and that lifted my spirit. It's hard to be sad when there is so much beauty all around.
I have another interview tomorrow for the Taylor position, here's hoping something comes through. One thing I took away from this week was that i really want to make him proud of me.
Now I need to snuggle some more with the kitten I so heinously abandoned last week.

No Title
Grandpa could not wait.
I will be leaving on Monday and returning around Memorial Day. The funeral will be Friday in Ft. Dodge. If you need me next week, you can reach me at (515)576-5229.
I am unbearably sad.

Kasten's Descend
The family will descend to Austin this weekend for my sister's graduation. My favorite cousin Muffin is coming, and she is the coolest 50 year old to grace this planet. She and my mom once drove into the Mississippi River, and she's a wild woman on a jetski. Muffin, we salute you.
I must go track down the rest of my mother's day present--how lame am I? It's two weeks later and I still don't have my prezzie under control? Sorry mom.
I'm glad we'll have this weekend of celebration because, most likely, the next time we get together will be at my grandfather's funeral. We need to have the happy weekend before we can handle the unbearable sadness.
But I didnt' mean to make this entry sad. Tonight we got o Lake Travis to eat yumminess and watch the sunset. There is no place for unhapiness, only margaritas.

Toby as Devil

Snoobie's handiwork. It fits the punk ass perfectly.

Idiots in the suburbs
As I was coming home from an afternoon with my sister, I saw this woman mowing the yard in a mini skirt and pumps. It was quite possibly the most ridiculous thing I've seen since moving here. Her legs probably got cut to hell by flying grass, but I can't feel too sorry for the chick.
My epic battle with Toby continues. Today, I was trying to feed Clem, and he was eating all of her wet food. I was pulling him away and he bit the hell out of my arm. It's huge and swollen and blood-blistery. This means war. He has not seen the last of me. One of these days...
I haven't heard anything else from the school. I am getting tired of uncertainty. It seems everything is up in the air right now. I don't know where my next paycheck is going to come from, and that's no place to live. I know i have it better than a lot of people, but allow me my moment of wallowing.
I have to go shopping tonight cause my sister graduates from Law School this weekend. I can't believe she's going to be a lawyer. I'm insanely proud of her. It should be an awesome and happy weekend of loveliness and celebration.
Saw Girl Next Door today at the dollar movie. You must see this movie. It's very 16 Candles, Breakfast Club, every wonderful 80s movie-esque. I can't believe people didn't see it. It's the cutest ever and I want to squeeze the boy, I think his name is Emile Hirsch. I don't often gush, but I just liked it muchly.

Lurveliness and Confusion
I had the most lovely evening with Seth, Alex and Scott. But I am so full and disgusted with myself for doing the gelato thing. Such creamy goodness. *don't take that the wrong way* Anyway, I'd forgotten how much good converstation, even if wrong and socially repugnant converstion is so healing and lurvely.
I had this weird day at school--this kid did kissy faces at me. A little eighth grade punk, disturbing.
In the continuing saga of St. Mary's, I got a message from them today asking if I had made a decision about the position. First of all, I called them last week to tell them I wanted the job (at whihc point they told me they were still doing interviews). Secondly, what are they talking about? I dont' know if I have it or not. I guess only time will tell.
Clem is wreking havoc on my desk--she likes to re-arrange all of my pens and computer cables. I am such a proud mommy.
Jon Stewart has the nerve to take the week off, so my life is something less than complete. I shall be a shell of my former self until his goodness returns.
Rrrrrrrr, something's wrong with me. . .

kitty in the pictures

More pics and a wunderbar movie.
Look and adore!

I'm a mom!
We picked up little Clementine today, adn she is the most beautiful kitty ever. So far she and Toby have pretty much ignored each other, which is a bonus. I think they will get along just fine after a few days. Toby has been surprisingly good, but he is pretty scared of Clem.
I am so happy with my fuzzy butt!!!!!!!!
Pictures

Grumpy
I've been so grumpy lately. My apologies to anyone who has come into contact with me. I am hoping that my hostility will cease soon.
That being said, I want to bitch about today. I am going to this alternative school to sub. I've never been there before, dont' know the kids, it's the last week of school, and I have to teach Math. It's a recipe for disaster. If I never post again, you'll know I was mauled by crazed teenagers.
Must mentally prepare.

Fun in the Living Room!

Check it out, very bizarre, almost badgeresque. Courtesy of the intractable sethers.

Hot Crankiness
As well as we did with the garage sale ($340), we already have it spent. Thus is the way of the world I suppose.
I am furious at Bank One. First of all, the normal branch we go to closes at 1pm on saturday, and we got there at 1:20. Eric then called the Bank One hotline, and they told us of an open branch across town, so we booked all the way across town in frickin' Round Rock traffic with all of the Saturday afternoon drivers. As we pulled up, we realized that the bank they told us about had been closed for a few months. We went to 2 other Bank ONes at varying places across the Metro. We never did find an open bank, but we stuck our cash in one of those night depositry places and can only hope for the best. We did all of this in my car without A/C, so by the timew e finally returned, I was/am truly pissy and hot. I kept yelling, "Don't touch me, don't touch me." Garage sales are not romantic, just in case you thought they were.
Another thing, wild cave tours are not romantic. Ask me the story sometime.
I must nap now and rid myself of crabbiness.

Gardening Tips
The bush you want to trim will never be even if you just eyeball it. THe temptation to just keep trimming until you get it right is overwhelming, I know, but try to put the hedge trimmer down. Take it from someone who just destroyed a privet. What I did to the hedge ought to be a crime. Tom, the horticulturalist neighbor might have to come run some damage control.
Here's another tip: don't put hedge trimmers in your pocket and then try to bend over. Ouch.
Had lunch with the incomprabable sethers where we savored skittles one at a time. If only our beloved mondo could have joined. That's the one bonus of not working steadily--I have time for long lunches.
Tonight it's out to the Oasis to see Bob Schneider who is happy-fun. I can't wait to sit out at the lake and watch the sun set. It will make all of the crappy happenings fade away. A date with my husband, yay!
Garage sale tomorrow. 6 am goodness. We'd better make some money to offset my impending crankiness.

Ridiculous Idiot
I have made a mistake of epic stature. I called back St. Mary's, and they were not offering me the job. Rather I am just a cannidate. I completely misunderstood the situation, and I feel like such a loser. They had asked if I would take the job, but what they meant was would I take the job if they offered it to me in a few weeks. I knew that it was a little wierd, I just wanted to believe that I had gotten it I guess.
So, I still need to plow full steam ahead to find a job. I would like to end up with this one, but I really need any kind of job. I am so stupid.
I am going to bury myself in the covers for a long time.

Sleepy time
I am so sick of the alarm clock and that annoying 5:45 am beep. I am perky in the morning, but by 2 or 3 I am deadly cranky. Of course my students do not help matters. I have yelled myself hoarse, but I honestly don't know why I bother. They just offend my sense of order. Who am I to block out chaos?
Jen is taking me out to dinner which should be a shwankliscious affair. I am in need of loveliness.
Much loveliness.

JOB
I was offered a job today at St. Mary's Catholic School in Taylor. It's a very confusing prospect as the money is so little, but I really liked the school. It would be a mission, a not for profit situation. I loved the people there, and I liked what they said about the students. It would be a chance to make a difference. If I can look beyond the money factor. . . Of course I don't need to earn a lot of money, but it would be really nice to have a lot of cash to get ourselves set. In any case something is better than nothing. I must celebrate.

Horrible, guilty irony
For the last several days, Toby has been so quiet and good. Practically angelic. I also began noticing that he hasn't been eating, adn then today he started puking and looking miserable. I am taking him to the vet this afternoon before my interview. I feel so guilty because I've been saying such bad things about him and having such evil thoughts. Perhaps I subliminally made him sick. I feel even worse for saying this. . . he is such a wonderful dog when he feels like crap.
We picked out our kitty last night. She is a little siamese mix and is so sweet and cute. We will probably get her next week because she hasnt' had her shots yet. These people were kinda crazy cat people. The house must have had 50 cats in it, and they seem to run the entire place. There is no carpet to be seen and litter boxes everywhere. I kept thinking of those reports where the cat people die and are found months later eaten by the cats. But away from that ickiness--we are getting a snooch soon.
So the interview is this afternoon, and I"m feeling a little nervous about the whole thing. Really, though it's a no lose situation. I'm not even sure I would want the job, especially at the very low pay. Even if they offer me the job, I'll tell them I need until June to figure it out. By that point the other schools should have gotten back to me.
All of this stuff going on and I have a raging headache and a puky puppy.

I Need to Borrow Your Luck
I have a job interview tomorrow for a language arts position at a small Catholic school out in Taylor. It would be really great to have a job. The only problem is that the pay is really, really small. In fact I made more at Teacher Heaven (hiss) which is sad. But it is a lot more than I am making now and definately more than I will be making if I do not have a job for the fall. My goal is to avoid getting too excited. I've gotten excited in the past and had my heart broken. I am also keeping in contact with the Conally principals because, frankly, I would rather work there and for $15,000 more per year. Anyway, it's nice to have some possibilities.
Goal for today--uberproductive job hunt.
Secondary goal--laundry.
E. and I started up our book club again which consisted of me reading aloud while he slept. Sigh.
Must iron my suit and make myself indispensible.

Friday, May, Full Moon--kids are insane, and I am very, very tired.
I think that when we have kids, we will send them to live with their grandparetns from about age 11 through 14 until they become human again. Adolescence sucks.
I too watched the Friends finale, although I hadn't seen the show in awhile. I really enjoyed sitting around talking to my friends more, but I'd be scared if that wasn't the case. Sometimes the whole idea of tv irritates me, but then I realize it's time for the Daily Show and I get off my high horse.
The whole no ac in the car thing has gotten old already. Today's high was only 85, and I was drenched in sweat by the time I did my 45 minute commute home. I suppose a reversal of the earth's poles is too much to ask for.
I shall go eat Pez out of my Yoda dispenser and pretend today never happened.

Heinous Butt Injury
I am going to have a huge bruise on my ass after a recent lawn mowing debacle. I did something that Eric is not going to like (I signed us up to go see some time share nonsense cause they're going to send up to Vegas), so I decided to do something nice for him before he finds out. What more romantic gesture can a wife do than mow the lawn? Anyway, I am not terribly experienced at the art of lawnmowing, and I tend to go in a staight line and then run backwards on the same line because I have not gotten the hang of turning. Anyway, I was going backwards with the mower when I ran into the electric meter, fell over it backwards and tipped the lawnmower onto my leg. I'm in butt pain as I swear I landed on a rock. It's not been my most coordinated day.
I was productive, however. It's official, I changed my name today at the Social Security office and the DMV. I'm still not sure how I feel about it, especially since I can't even say the name. I still sign Kasten half of the time. The upside is the driver's license pic is actually pretty cute vs. my fat pic on the other one. I don't miss that 45 pounds at all. . .
Also went to San Marcos to turn in my fieldwork portfolio. After all of this is over, I'm going to send those losers at Texas State a photocopy of my bruised butt. It seems they go out of their way to be difficult. No, my butt is too good for them. I'll send them Toby.
Two birds. One stone.

David Byrne's new Song "Tiny Apocalypse" makes me so ridiculously happy. Any song with tippytoes is fantastic in my book. Must, must, must get the cd when I have a dime. I will try walking on tiptoes when I am sad.
The show last night was most excellent--all they were missing was Tom Waits doing supporting lyrics. Those in Austin must join me Tuesdays at 9 at the 1920s Club.
I was so tired after work today. I couldn't even keep my eyes open, so I played hookey from the gym and tried to take a nap. In this, as in all other things, I was somewhat thwarted by Toby who kept either barking or jumping on me. I did get some rest and now only feel like a part time zombie.
Speaking of, I meant to see Dawn of the Dead but I didn't get around to it. I like zombies more than other monsters, even vampires who seem to be so popular these days. I can only take so many beautifully morose vampires in one lifetime.
Rant: Attention Hollywood--why can't you come up with some original ideas and leave comic books alone? I am so sick of these stupid comic book movies with paper thin characters, ridiculous plots, and inflated budgets. My current least favorite is X-2, but most of them are pretty bad (Spider Man is the lone exception, thank you Sam Rami). This is not to say that I have anything against comic books. I really like comic books, but I'd rather read them than see them. End rant.
I am putting the finishing touches on my fieldwork project and driving it to San Marcos tomorrow for the grand finale of my eduational experience. No more graduate level show and tell for me.

Books I've read recently:
Illywacker by Peter Carey
The Odyssey by Homer
My Life and Times by James Thurber
The Robber Bride by Margaret Atwood

At the moment, I am bookless. I pick stuff up and put it back down. My inspiration has been a little lacking since moving into the house. Perhaps it's because the evil dog yaps at all times and I can't read anything.
I am home today--I really should not be allowed to stay at home because I go a little nuts. I just sit here and look up stuff on Webmd that I might have. It's a sickness. Future employers. .. hire me and save me from myself. I have become such a drama queen and I"ve only been home for a day.
I might go see my friend s's band tonight at the 1920s Club. Check out elastic waste band.

For my graduate course in education, my final assignment was to decorate a bag. Oh yes, decorate a frickin' bag. My bag has a giant picture of Karl Marx and omnious shadows creaping accross it to represent the alleged capitalist shadow falling over society, corrupting our schools. MOst of it is crap, and it certainly does not belong on a Bed Bath and Beyond gift bag.
It's poop.
Tonight is my last class which is good because I am having trouble taking this stuff seriously any more.
My weekend was horrid. My weekend was great. I was shunned by AISD--they wouldn't even let me in the door of their stupid job fair which I drove to far south Austin to attend. Then the car broke down and I got to walk down I-35 in a business suit It was fun. I was supposed to get a kitty but they didn't have any. I cried. The only saving grace is that my husband (I said husband) is fantastic and did everything to cheer me up. Sunday was beautiful and we hit Pecan Street Festival. It rocks to see so many creative people.
Off I go to the illuminating world of higher education--it's time for show and tell.