Bionic
I was not planning on posting anything tonight because my day was extremely boring, but I was just reading The Week, and I saw an article about a woman who lost her left arm in a motorcycle accident. Scientists just made her a bionic arm controled by the nerves on her chest, and she can now do everything 4 times faster than the average human being. Imagine the consequences! Batter whipped up into creamy froth almost instantly! Annoying people smacked before they knew what hit them! The possibilities are endless.
Now I will contemplate while I eat soy sloppy joe goodness that I really could have used bionic arms to make.

Male Pattern Baldness
I am the worst wife in the world. I accidentally gave Eric a big bald spot on his eyebrow. I was trimming them and slipped. I tried to reconstruct the errant brow with my eyeliner, but the only eyeliner I had was more silver than black and the result was more than a little odd. I managed to brush them a little so his look is not completely bizarro. I think I have been banned from them for life, however. So much for my best intentions.
WE spent most of the afternoon in the yard getting rid of all of the weeds, dead plants, and extra tree limbs, and I hope to be able to straighten up fully at some point this week. Hopefully the work we did out there will make planting and revitalizing the yard easier in a few weeks. Ah the life of a homeowner is frequently very dull indeed.
I brought home a stack of papers this weekend, and I've yet to actually look at them. Tonight is not looking good either. Some times I guess you really need to leave it all behind.
Yesterday we checked out the antique barns at Forney where you can find everything from an old diving helmet to giant 7 foot tall lobsters, to sarcophaguses and even an entire WWII airplane. When I make my millions, I'm going to become an eccentric antiquities dealer. Until then I will continue my significantly humbler quest for the weird--my porch now has a giant moon head protruding from it. It's a start.

My Mind Just Broke
I have only one question: why?

Death By Garlic Bread
We did dining club tonight, and everyone at the table decided that if you have to die, going out via garlic bread would be a pretty cool way to go. We went to Siciliano's. . . amazing. It took all of my will power to just eat one piece of bread a little ziti in olive oil and garlic.
In other news I have given up complaining for Lent. It's only day one, and I have to catch myself constantly. I hope that perhaps by the end of it I will really be a more positive person. I even got through rush hour on Central without complaining or swearing. That's something.
We had book club this week, and we discussed The Virgin's Lover which made me almost miss our days in England. I could picture Hampton Court, my favorite spot. I'm currently reading total brain candy: the Stephanie Plum books by Janet Evanovich. They are light, fluffy and frickin' hysterical. Perhaps if I give up teaching I will take up bounty hunting. I've taken a bunch of personality tests that say I should be a detective. Hmmm.
I must get upstairs, I'm determined to finish the Bi section of the dictionary this week. The life of a nerd is never dull.

75
No time this morning, but I had to report that I have officially lost 75 pounds. I have more to do, but everytime I reach a milestone like this I am inspired to keep going.

Hail to the Chief
I wish I could say I was really enjoying my day off, but I'm in the midst of grading an endless stack of rather mediocre papers. I also haven't been feeling myself lately. My stomach has been bothering me, my back hurts, and I've been feeling rather light headed. I think this is all an effect of the antibiotics I've been on. I suppose I should be gratful that I am not hacking and wheezing anymore, but I can't wait to feel better.
I did have a good weekend despite feeling somewhat crappy the whole time. Saturday night we invited Jen, Jay and Henry over for Chinese food, hot tubbing, and a fire in our new pit. We drank copious amounts of wine, listened to music, and roasted marshmellows. While we sat outside listening to the waterfall I became acutely glad that we are here.
I need to wake Toby up for our afternoon nap.

Intrepid Hunter
Eric has spent the last hour or so following Clementine around trying to make her poop. I love it! He wandering around in his bathrobe stalking her, making subtle suggestions. She finally ran away. Who needs the pressure?
The pets are going to their annual physical, and I have conveniently scheduled another appointment because being in the car with them makes me want to do very bad things.
And on an unrelated note, cranberry scones and coffee is the best way to wake up on a Saturday morning!

Moment of Zen
Per my father's suggestion I began my classes today with a few moments of guided breathing exercises. While I did have to kick some students out who were laughing and destroying the peace, it was really amazing to see the tension ease out of their bodies. The classes were easier to control, and it made me feel better too. Those poor kids are under crazy amounts of pressure, and I was glad to ease it if only momentarily.
I am looking at a long weekend (of paper work). Oh well, at least I can grade papers in my pink cloud slippers while drinking a nice cup of Earl Gray tea.
I had the commute from hell this afternoon. I actually pulled off of the highway and went shopping out of sheer irritation. The traffic on 635 got me a cute pair of jeans and new undies, so rock on! Shopping is perhaps not the best way to deal with traffic woes, but I enjoyed it. So I wouldn't feel so guilty I bought Eric a new shirt too. Everyone benefits from the idiots who designed the highway system.
Incidentally I have reached belly in the dictionary. Such a lovely word to say! I'm going to go contemplate my own navel for awhile.

Voice
I feel human again. Not healthy per se, but human. Somedays that just has to be enough.

Valentine's Day Diss
Poor Eric gets no kisses today! I finally got into the doctor last nihgt, and I have bronchitis and possibly the flu. They made me go into work this morning, but I finally got someone to take over for me at 10:30 because I will never get better until I spend a day not talking, preferably lying down.
I want my momma!
In nicer news, my students were so cute this morning. I brought them bagels for breakfast, and they were very thankful. I got about 10 pounds of chocolate, coffee mugs, and glowers for them. Then as I was leaving they all clustered around me, giving me hugs. There are moments I really love my job.
Happy Valentine's Day from a girl wearing pink heart socks!

Ack Ack
I still have no voice.
I have tried twice now to go to the doctor, but last night the wait was over 5 hours (they closed before they could see me) and tonight it is over 4 hours. I am on the path to see a doc at 9 tonight if I am lucky. I asked to take tomorrow off , but I could not get a sub. They will not let me get off unless I find someone to cover my classes. Thus I will probably get my voice back around Spring Break.
Some frickin' Valentine's Day.

I Can Save Your Life!
I have received my newly laminated life-saving card after spending 4 hours in intense CPR training. I am such a goof, but I'm actually taking my hallway safety monitor position seriously. I am one of those people.
I have spent most of the day in bed trying to recover from the cold from hell, and I am not looking forward to going back to school tomorrow when I have to talk all day. I've been Eric's silent companion most of the weekend. Luckily he does not seem to mind my silences.
We saw The Departed last night which was amazingly well acted and rather haunting. Excellent flick.
I am supposed to be grading papers, yet here I sit racking my brains for other things to post rather than tackle the stack on my lap. Homework stinks.

It's Oh So Quiet
Boredome almost consumed me today at our inservice. It's freaky how used to screaming and chaos I get. I actually sat alone in my room, working quietly all day, and I hated every minute of it. As far as I am concerned the only reason to teach is being with kids. Without them it really stinks. I will try to remember this next time I am screaming at them to be quiet. I won't stop yelling, but I will try to remember it.
I left work at 2:45, had time to work out, and I still returned home in daylight. It's almost enough to freak me out. The next thing you know I'll be getting a good night's sleep. Weird.

Slipping, Snot, and Sudafed Suckiness
I've been swimming in my own head all day, my sinuses aching and heavy. Kids are dropping like flies. I had several students in my homeroom go home at various points during the day. Even if I wasn't feeling crappy, all of those students missing my class would make me cranky. It really bothers me when kids miss class because it creates twice as much work for me. I remember I only got to stay home if I was vomiting copiously or burning up with fever. There were whole years when I never missed a day of school.
I also got an email today telling me that apparently part of my job is making coffee in the lounge, doing dishes, scrubbing the sink, washing down the microwave, and keeping inventory on the sugar and creamer in the lounge. Who knew I got a Masters' degree for that? I am so irritated.
But with all of the crappiness, why do I have a smile on my face? I had an appointment with my personal trainer, and I've lost another pound and a half. This puts me below what I was my freshman year in high school. I am now 9 and 1/2 pounds away from my new goal. Now I'm on the snot diet, so that should be easy.

Monday Morning Coming Down
Note to football chairpeople: do not schedule the Super Bowl on a Sunday night! We had a wonderful party, but Sunday is my time to get in the zone, to think over lesson plans, and to be my geeky self. I am totally unprepared to work.
Still, it was rocking to have everyone over.

A to Az Zarqa
Cue drums.
Signal the celestial angel choir.
Start up the marching band and tell the girls to throw the batons as high as they can.
I have finished the A section of the dictionary: 113 pages of words, more chemical terms and botany diagrams than I even care to count, and some pretty fantastic finds.
My favorite has got to be average. I knew what it meant, but I had no idea that the word stems from the practice of evenly distributing the costs of a ship's losses at sea amongst investors. Also anthology, I have read hundreds of them, but I never knew that the word stems from the Latin for flower, an anthology is, literally, a collection of the best flowers of literature! Lovely image, no?
Without this project I would not know that the adytum is the innermost sanctuary in an ancient Greek temple. Likewise I would be ignorant about the affltus, or the divine creative impulse. I have learned to fear the afreet, or Muslim demon. I have become determined to find both an agouti (long legged rodent simular to the guinea pig) and an aye aye (relative of the lemur). I discovered that I am an ailurophile, a lover of cats. I rediscovered Amphitrite, the wife of Poseidon. I hope I never suffer from anhedonia, the inability to feel pleasure or anosmia, the loss of the sense of smell. If I get trapped on an island I hope never to succumb to anthropophagy or cannibalism. I will strive to avoid argle bargle, or pointless, nonsense talk. I want to try arrack, a liquor made from coconut sap or rice. On Monday mornings I pray for ataraxy, a state of serene calmness. I will try to avoid atrabilious moods when I am melancholy or ill-tempered. Unlike the ancient Greek King Augeas I will clean my house rather than wait for Heracles to do it for me. I have decided to try auriculotherapy, a treatment like accupuncture but using the pressure points of the ear. I will continue my diet so as to avoid putting on avoir du pois. I will continue to apply deodorant to my axilla every morning while I continue this dictionary reading avocation.

Yes, folks, I am indeed this nerdy.

Bring on the "B"s, baby!!

54-50
The mightly 8th grade defeated the powerful teacher coalition in the riviting final day of Catholic Schools' Week. The result: I have screamed myself hoarse and we have some seriously inflated egos.
The principal took us all out for lunch and mercifully let us go home early. I returned before 8 for the first time in a long time and even had time for a nap. I say time for a nap because I was not actually able to nap due to my psychotic Pommeranian who felt it necessary to bark at everyone in the 76501.